Best Ever Garlic Parmesan Mashed Faux-tatoes

Let's face it...mashed cauliflower generally leaves a little to be desired. As low carbers, we eat it, resentfully, silently wishing they were mashed potatoes. But they're not, are they?

I first encountered mashed cauliflower on my first Whole 30, that magical time when we learn that cauliflower is like the kid with really supportive parents ("you can be anything you want!") that actually believes their hype and goes out into the world to make something of themselves. If you've been eating paleo or low carb/ketogenic food for some time, you've seen it: cauliflower rice, cauliflower pizza, cauliflower steaks, even cauliflower hummus (although I must admit, that one intrigues me). Cauliflower's been busy, right? For a vegetable who's been relegated to being broccoli's paler, less appealing cousin since forever, cauliflower is certainly having its day in the sun.

Let me backtrack, because this is coming off as if I'm not a fan of cauliflower. Despite my contempt at times (why can't you just be a damn potato???), I appreciate cauliflower for its versatility, allowing me to transform into what I need it to be. It just never, in my opinion, was a great sub for mashed potatoes—until now.

Ladies and gentlemen, I have seen the light. It's not cauliflower who sucked at being mashed potatoes, it was me (and maybe you) all along! I stumbled upon a new method of preparation that truly transforms cauliflower in a way that makes me not even miss mashed potatoes. Honestly, truly. 

The trick, apparently, is to completely dry the cauliflower out completely, which prevents it from being the soggy, watery mess I'd never embraced. Adding cream and butter to it is just good keto (and common sense), and you may know this by now, but I'm also obsessed with cheese. So, let's get to it.

Serves 3


  • 1 head cauliflower, chopped into florets or riced
  • 1 clove garlic, minced
  • 1/4 cup heavy cream
  • 2 tbsp butter
  • 1.5 oz (about 1/3 cup) Parmesan cheese
  • 1 tsp chicken bouillon (I use Better than Bouillon)





  1. Add cauliflower, cream, and butter to bowl and microwave uncovered for six minutes.
  2. After six minutes, stir contents of bowl, then microwave again for six more minutes.
  3. Remove bowl from microwave and add cheese and bouillon to bowl. Stir to combine.
  4. Blend using immersion blender, blender, or food processor until desired consistency is reached.
  5. Taste, and add more butter, cream, or salt as desired. 
  6. Enjoy!

If you've given up on mashed cauliflower like I had, I encourage you to try this one last recipe. I think it'll knock your socks off! These faux-tatoes can be customized, of course, to your tastes—roasted garlic, cheddar, chives, and bacon (!) would all be great add-ins. Hmmm, I feel a new recipe coming on...

What's your favorite way to eat cauliflower? Let me know in the comments!